he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
