last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Its about making memories worth repressing
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
