so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
