From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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