I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
