I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
