i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
