her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
