Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
