So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
