i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize