I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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