Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
there was a trapeze. enough said
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
