i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
