So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
