ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
