Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
