I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
