after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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