I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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