Plan B is the new Plan A
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
