I wish I could teleport
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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