Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
