I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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