how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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