So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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