this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Never underestimate the power of titties
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
