I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize