two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Randomize
