I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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