i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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