We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
