my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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