She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
