I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
