Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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