What did we do last night that was yellow?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
