Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
