Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
