I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
