I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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