D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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