I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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