I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
