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  • In Soviet Russia we shove potatoes sideways up firsty's ass. Then we shove vodka in there. Finally, we take aim with our AKs.

    Submitted by marsho on Jul 14, 10 at 8:53pm
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    • :O Firsty wants to go to Soviet Russia now!! :D

      Submitted by firsty on Jul 14, 10 at 9:58pm
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  • Firsty, please stop. It isn't funny anymore.

    Submitted by necrocat on Jul 14, 10 at 6:07pm
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    • The length of time that Firsty exists is proportional to how funny he is.\n\nFirsty!

      Submitted by firsty on Jul 14, 10 at 6:17pm
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      • Yes the longer he exists the less funny he becomes

        Submitted by dassjennir on Jul 14, 10 at 7:06pm
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        • You obviously have no idea what "proportional" means..

          Submitted by firsty on Jul 14, 10 at 8:26pm
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          • You're assuming it's directly proportional, when in fact it is inversely proportional. Both are forms of proportional. I think /you're/ the one who doesn't know what it means.

            Submitted by arthurlux on Jul 14, 10 at 9:31pm
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            • Thank you Arthur that's exactly what I was about to say

              Submitted by dassjennir on Jul 14, 10 at 9:35pm
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            • *sigh* I can't believe I have to explain this. "Proportional" implies that one variable increase when the other variable increases, and vice-versa. "Directly proportional" implies that there is a a linear relationship between the two variables. "Directly proportional" is the opposite of "indirectly proportional", not "inversely proportional". Therefore, "proportional" cannot mean "inversely proportional". arthurlux and dassjennir

              Submitted by firsty on Jul 14, 10 at 9:47pm
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            • arthurlux and dassjennir just got Firstied!

              Submitted by firsty on Jul 14, 10 at 10:05pm
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            • Indirectly proportional=inversely proportional \nhttp://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_indirectly_proportional\nDirect quote: "indirectly proportional" appears to be interchangeable with "inversely proportional." \nthank you for proving my point. I rest my case

              Submitted by dassjennir on Jul 14, 10 at 10:13pm
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            • Ah yes, because people posting answers on "wiki answers" saying "this appears to be right.." are so reliable, right?

              Submitted by firsty on Jul 14, 10 at 10:32pm
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            • eh, whatever this already went too far. I had nothing better to do atm. I might never visit this site ever again after all this troll business

              Submitted by dassjennir on Jul 14, 10 at 10:40pm
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            • Firstyyy! :D

              Submitted by firsty on Jul 14, 10 at 10:42pm
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  • maybe you should use the vicodin for what it is actually prescribed for and not abuse it like the countless people that do

    Submitted by Anonymous12345 on Jul 14, 10 at 9:51pm
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  • Pussy take a handfull or a oxycotin 80

    Submitted by enjoy420 on Jul 14, 10 at 10:30pm
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  • Ugh I feel for you!!!!

    Submitted by caligurl4real on Jul 14, 10 at 8:38pm
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  • snort oxys pussy

    Submitted by itouchgnomes on Jul 15, 10 at 12:50am
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  • It's hilarious how annoyed people get by the 'first' comments.

    Submitted by mhg89 on Jul 14, 10 at 10:13pm
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  • I feel your pain. I just took a family trip to visit my half senile granny and she lives in a DRY county!!! Torture. Lol

    Submitted by fearnaught44 on Jul 14, 10 at 6:12pm
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  • I feel your pain... When family vacations are concerned, sobriety isn't really an option.

    Submitted by godlessBJ on Jul 14, 10 at 6:10pm
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  • I probably know this person and They probably going going to ocmd

    Submitted by demented on Jul 14, 10 at 7:42pm
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  • Wow, 3 whole vicodins?? Wish i was back to that low of tolerance....I'd have to shoot heroin if i wanted to numb myself out from my family

    Submitted by evolwayz on Jul 14, 10 at 10:29pm
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  • sounds like my family lol

    Submitted by loybear on Jul 15, 10 at 2:44am
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  • In Soviet Russia, thirsty makes you pretzels.

    Submitted by Nasty on Jul 14, 10 at 8:38pm
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  • have fun trying to shit..

    Submitted by NationOfThizzlam on Jul 15, 10 at 12:05am
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  • What's second necrocat?

    Submitted by prettylitlpunk on Jul 14, 10 at 9:37pm
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  • God bless firsty!

    Submitted by juicy_cooter on Jul 14, 10 at 9:11pm
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  • Firsty when you use them thar book smarts of yours some folk can't keep up with you. Keep it on the slow and zombie brains level of understanding please? Firsty for Predident!

    Submitted by KesJaye on Jul 17, 10 at 3:11am
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  • i feel ya. i told my parents when i was 12 that i wouldn't go on any more family vacas. somehow, that hasn't stopped them on dragging me on countless miserable trips.

    Submitted by hourglassss on Jul 14, 10 at 7:21pm
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  • I'm anti-firsty and also considering deleting this app BECAUSE of firsty. firsty = Allen001 = ruining my daily laugh and making me want to hit someone.

    Submitted by FirstydieinaFire on Jul 16, 10 at 2:44am
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  • Sounds like me every weekend with my family.

    Submitted by schreiX19 on Jul 14, 10 at 10:22pm
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  • To all who is tired of firsty i am here the antifirsty. I will rid the site of firsty for good

    Submitted by antifirsty on Jul 15, 10 at 1:11am
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  • Just fucking kill them and escape to Algeria, you fucking idiot

    Submitted by niceman on Jul 14, 10 at 10:39pm
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  • Sorry mate, that sucks. If you had prepared like me you wou

    Submitted by TheAwfulWaffle on Jul 15, 10 at 1:56am
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  • Ya dingus!!

    Submitted by Dingus on Jul 14, 10 at 8:48pm
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  • HOLY SHIT!!!!

    Submitted by want_some94 on Jul 15, 10 at 1:23am
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  • I can't believe you are having a serious battle over the term proportional.

    Submitted by livetodisco on Jul 15, 10 at 6:19am
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