Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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