so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize