There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Pants are for mortals
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
