i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
