You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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