Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
