I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize