It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
