You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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