I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
