dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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