we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
