so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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