It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize