He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
