you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
