This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
