Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
