i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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