In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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