i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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