He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
