who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she peed on how many people?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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