I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just want to make out with him forever
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize