id be glad to
I'm jealous of your bromance
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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