I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
