Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
