I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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