I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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