You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Enjoy the penises
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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