You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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