from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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