I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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