I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize