She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize