apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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