dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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